


What have you done

by PseftisIncertus



Category: Sherlock - Fandom
Genre: BBC Sherlock - Freeform, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 18:54:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14338878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PseftisIncertus/pseuds/PseftisIncertus
Summary: "Taking your own life? Interesting impression - taking it from who? Once its over, its not you who'll miss it. Your own death is something that happens to everybody else. Your life is not your own. Keep your hands off it."Mycroft was slightly confused with what he's sister Eurus said upon meeting him."Sherlock said those words to me when we went out to have chips""Interesting quote, our brother is quite a philosopher." Mycroft responded."He won't take it, not on his own you know" Eurus said, picking up her violin.Mycroft looked at her, listened to her piece play, note per note, trying to stand straight and listened, wishing everything was just an illusion.





	What have you done

**Author's Note:**

> This is how I imagine endgame would be. I want to contribute to the fandom by writing a fanfiction with the genre I am good at, Tragic.

"I am you"

This words haunted John since Sherlock revealed to him what took place on top of Bart's hospital. There was something in those words that Sherlock said to Moriarty that scared him, haunted him, as if it was a message he needed to decipher.

5 years has gone by since Moriarty's death. Some interesting events (according to Sherlock) was related to him, others were just some cases too much for the police to solve.

He became restless again.

"Once you have a taste of what is good, you'd be craving for more."

Despite being relieved since the disappearance of Moriarty and dismantling his connections, Sherlock seems to be searching for his presence. Cases he's been solving has become dull to him. He gets bored more often and even threats to national government was something he solved as favors for his brother, just so he wouldn't take the responsibility to be with their parents on holidays.

It was a quiet life for once to John, but even he started growing restless. 

Sherlock was his battlefield. 

The only reason he agreed to be with this "high functioning sociopath", because despite not wanting to hear the truth, he knew very well that he never wanted to retire from the battlefield. He craved for it, he wanted it.

And he's losing it.

***

"Bored!!!"

A sound of a gunshot.

"You can shoot the wall all you want but nothing will happen so just sit down and find a case!"

"They're all dull John, they're all mediocre!"

And then silence.

John grew a little scared of that silence after Sherlock's endless rants. He's scared of what Sherlock might say next, What is going on in his head, What he would like to say but stops himself from. Even Lestrade and the others started getting concerned with Sherlock. They're scared he might get back to his addiction so even they wished, everyday, some bizarre case would come up and get Sherlock back to his usual self. 

Anything to take him away from his addictions.

So John wasn't surprised when Mrs. Hudson called him in the middle of the night reporting about Sherlock, and later found in a hideout with some addicts.

"This is insane Sherlock!"

John screamed. Sherlock was half conscious as he was almost beaten to a pulp by John. Everyone was worried. Even Molly offered to stay and look after Sherlock. He was losing his head.

John needed to talk to Mycroft about his brother and of course, the latter knew of the events that has happened. 

Mycroft had Lestrade on surveillance on his brother. Even he was clueless how to control him. They were desperate to get him on track. John's visit to Mycroft has been on a regular basis, trying to find an alternative, or anything at all to keep Sherlock sane.

Until one afternoon.

"If only Moriarty is still alive"

A pound to a wooden table.

"What did you say?!"

"You heard me well Dr. Watson."

"That man was a demon reincarnate! You knew what he's capable of doing, and how lives are meaningless to him and yet here you are wishing that man is still alive!"

"I knew what he's capable of and might I remind you, I was part of solving that case and dismantling his networks. I know what kind of man he was."

"And you still wish that he's alive."

"Because believe it or not John Watson, you can't deny the idea that he was the only one who kept Sherlock on his toes."

"Only one."

John was silent. 

Yes, that, that one was what he feared the most.

"I am you", and the silence after Sherlock's rants.

This is what he feared the most. 

That somewhere deep on Sherlock's mind, he wished Moriarty was alive. That he wished somewhere Moriarty was still there, to make things interesting again.

John left Mycroft's office mortified. 

He refused to believe those things happened and Mycroft said those words. He knew how concerned Mycroft was with his brother, the lengths he would go just to keep him on track, but that, that was just insane. He felt a slight tremble and realized. 

If Mycroft can entertain such an idea, How about Sherlock?

***

John came back to 221B baker street only to find Sherlock playing on his violin.

"He seems to be on a good mood." John commented.

Brilliant isn't it? He's been like that since a client this morning."

Mrs. Hudson replied in delight. John heard the piece Sherlock was playing but can't remember exactly.

"Well that's good, why wasn't I informed?"

"Because you were busy talking to my brother John, I took the liberty to take a case."

"So did you solve it?"

"On it."

John was thrilled. Everything he feared for was just an illusion. He could only wish this continues. 

Weeks passed by and Sherlock seems to be back to his old self. Him and John was solving cases as usual. But the one case that turned things around, John never heard a thing about it from Sherlock. It seems it was a case he himself wants to solve. 

***

"How's my brother John?"

"He's fine, he's back to his usual self much to everybody's delight."

"Really?"

"You seemed unconvinced?"

"Too fast don't you think? Too sudden."

"What's wrong with that?"

"I know my brother, John. All he's recent cases are his usual cases, nothing new about that but what took him back on track?"

"There's this case he got then he decided to solve it himself then he got better."

"Any clue what that was?"

"He said he'll solve it on his own."

John was puzzled. What was it?

Lestrade called John to meet him on a Cafe nearby. 

"How's he?"

"Good why?"

"Just wondering."

"Anything else you'd like to tell me because surely, it isn't the only reason you called."

"Last week, we had a bombing, 30 people died. No one knew how it happened but the case was sort of familiar. We're working on it, see if there's a pattern."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I didn't want to tell Sherlock about this but he might know soon, these cases were similar to that of Moriarty."

"But he's dead? How's that possible?"

"Yes he is, we double even triple check the body, there was no mistake, it was him. His connections was severed years ago by Sherlock himself but these things still keeps on happening."

"Someone's following his footsteps?"

"Maybe"

"Or someone is reconnecting all severed threads he once had, making the idea that Moriarty is back. Nothing scares the public more than stories of the dead back to life."

Mycroft interrupted.

"Is this about Sherlock?" John responded.

"Better keep a close eye on him. Who knows what he's up to."

John took a deep breath. 

"Is this going to be Moriarty all over again? We're going to doubt Sherlock and push him off his limits?! This is just some bloody psychopath trying to play us and you're on this too Mycroft? Just stop it, okay stop it. He's in good track and we're all good okay?"

"You're loyalty knows no bounds John Watson. I think we'll keep an eye on you as well."

John, appalled left. He's had it with everyone doubting Sherlock. He was in a good place now and he won't let anything ruin it. He was the only one who didn't doubt him during Moriarty's schemes and he will remain that way, because he believed in Sherlock, he always did.

***

Sherlock became a little distant. Sometimes he'll stay on his flat and play the violin weeks on end. Sometimes he'll have little walk alone. This kind of behavior was worst than that of Irene Adler, this was different.

"I know we, we don't do this Sherlock. But if there's anything, anything at all you'd like to talk about, you can always have me." John told Sherlock who was sitting on his chair fixing his violin. A few moments without response, John decided to leave until,

"I never lose to anyone John, no one."

"You're Sherlock Holmes, of course you never lose, why?"

He started playing the violin again.

John was more confused this time, what was that all about. The more he thought of it the more it confused him, was this about Moriarty? or Was it entirely different? He wanted to understand, he can't bare seeing Sherlock like this. He wanted Mycroft's help.

"He left. a few weeks ago. " Anthea responded and never looked up to John.

"Its important Anthea, where is Mycroft?" John replied irritated of the lack of attention.

"Its classified information" again, Anthea didn't look up.

John took her phone and threw it to the ground turning it into bits. "This is important Anthea! again, Where is Mycroft?!" the assistant was surprised and terrified all at the same time.

"Sherrinford"

A voice from behind responded. John looked back. Presenting Lady Smallwood.

John was mortified, Sherrinford? what the hell is Mycroft doing in Sherrinford.

***

"Taking your own life? Interesting impression - taking it from who? Once its over, its not you who'll miss it. Your own death is something that happens to everybody else. Your life is not your own. Keep your hands off it."

Mycroft was slightly confused with what he's sister Eurus said upon meeting him.

"Sherlock said those words to me when we went out to have chips"

"Interesting quote, our brother is quite a philosopher." Mycroft responded.

"He won't take it, not on his own you know" Eurus said, picking up her violin.

Mycroft looked at her, listened to her piece play, note per note, trying to stand straight and listened, wishing everything was just an illusion.

***

"Meet me on top of St. Bart's hospital"

John seemed frightened, reading Sherlock's message. 

He was with Lestrade trying to help out in some of his cases. The past weeks, Sherlock locked himself inside the flat, no drugs were seen, just him playing. They can't seem to force him to help. 

Everything was in chaos. Unsolved murders of high ranking officials, banks ransacked and High Profile Criminals released. Everything was like a playback to Moriarty's games, but more worst than ever. 

John hurried to the rooftop, he was trying to construct what to tell his friend, he didn't have a proper conversation with him for weeks He knew there was something, something he can't wrap his head around it.

Then there he was, standing looking down on the streets.

"Sherlock" he was gasping for air, he ran as soon as he read the message.

"This was the exact place I knew I defeated him John. Here", he walked a few steps forward.

"Well you did Sherlock, you did. And all of this that is happening is just simply an aftermath, some psychopath is playing with your head can't you see?!!"

Sherlock chuckled, "That was the same thing I told you when I thought you believed in him, like everyone else."

"Yeah well, I'm telling you again in case you needed to hear it from someone else." John retorted, whatever that is coming he's way, he was not ready for it.

"I am you" Sherlock said.

"No Sherlock, you're not like him, not even one bit so please, Stop this!!"

"Well then what makes us different John?"

"He's a murderer!"

"Then were not different at all." Sherlock points a gun to John.

"Sherlock" John stares at him.

"30 people died John, 30 people I have murdered, I am just like him."

"30?! what are you talking about?!"

"Those bombings John?! Those were my doing, I did it?! All of this chaos, murders and criminals set free, I did it John, I am MORIARTY!!"

"You're not Sherlock, You're not him so stop this right now STOP IT!"

"You don't understand John, this was part of his plan. He made it all happen, and he's on the grave laughing he's heart out because I lost John, I lost! I thought I was so clever, I thought I had him, faked my death and dismantle it. I Lost the moment I craved for his existence John I lost!"

John looked at Sherlock in utter fear, this wasn't the Sherlock he knew and met in 221B baker street this was different, and this is something he can't fix.

"That day, when a client came to me asking for help. He told me that a man named Moriarty came to him asking for me. He said that he's family was taken hostage and would be killed after 24 hours if I didn't meet "Moriarty". I thought it was just sort of a game Moriarty made, but before that I solved a few puzzles to set his family free. I did John. And after that I went to the room where I was suppose to meet "Moriarty" and there was nothing but mirrors John, mirrors. And realized the puzzles I solved wasn't just puzzles they were codes that will launch missiles to a certain plane that carried 30 people. These was all because I craved for him, John, I wished for Moriarty to be alive."

"It was a mistake, Sherlock, everyone makes mistakes." John tried to contain himself, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. 

"30 people died John, 30. That was a STUPID mistake!!" Sherlock screamed. He was shaking.

"Well you're not a hero Sherlock! again and again you told me that!! You're a high functioning sociopath! and you made a mistake!" John was resisting every urge to beat him up, Sherlock was not making any sense at all.

"No John, YOU made a mistake. You humanized me, you made me just like everyone else, attached and afraid. I feared death when I came here meeting him, and that was my mistake. When I told him I was ready to shake his hands in hell I didn't meant it but him, oh that man, with every inch of his body he meant it, he knew he won so he died anyway. All because I was just like everyone else."

"Stop it Sherlock, stop this nonsense right now, please, for me." Tears was forming in John's eyes, he was trembling.

"As long as I am alive John, Moriarty will also stay alive. It doesn't have to be the same person, It doesn't have to be just one person. As long as I am here, more Moriarty's will arise and the more blood will stain my hands. And someday you all will be surprised the cases you're solving are cases I did. Oh, Donovan would be so happy if ever that day comes." Sherlock was a mess, he was tearing himself apart. "We're two faces of one coin John, as long as I exist, Moriarty will be alive."

John was at a lost for words, what have Sherlock become, he was shaking, he couldn't take to see his friend in this state.

Sherlock passes the gun to him. "Take it." John refused. "TAKE IT!" Sherlock screamed at the top of his lungs.

"I'm not going to do it Sherlock." John shakes his head furiously. "I have buried enough friends in the battlefield, I have buried you as well. But take you life?! you're asking way too much from me."

"This is not a favor John, I'm asking you to fix your mistake." Sherlock look him dead in the eye.

"I won't" John was filled with all sorts of emotions. He was trembling at the thought of what Sherlock wanted him to do.

Suddenly helicopters were above them and guns were pointed at Sherlock.

"Or they will John." Sherlock said. The Government has known about the death of 30 civilians and traced to be Sherlock's doing. Lady Smallwood was in charge of the operation.

John had tears on his face, he knew what ever it was that was waiting for him in the rooftop of Bart's Hospital, he wasn't ready for it, he wasn't ready to kill the man he called his best friend.

"Ready on my signal." Lady Smallwood said. Everything was set.

"In 3 . . . 2 . . . "

A gunshot was heard.

***

"The suspect that was the mastermind of the death of 30 civilians was shot on top of St. Bart's Hospital by former member of-"

Mrs. Hudson turn the radio off. She was crying and Molly hugged her, they couldn't sum up the courage to attend Sherlock's funeral.

His casket was black and was buried on the same spot he did when he faked his death. His parents, DI Lestrade, and brother Mycroft were the only people attendance.

"Oh Sherlock, What have you done."


End file.
